Conversations on the way to the pool

Friday after work, I took the boys to the indoor pool because Nico had begged me to go when we passed the pool on Thursday. However, just one day later he had absolutely no recollection of this.
"Guess where we're going?" I asked excitedly.
"To Legoland!?!" shouted Mateo
"Umm...no. The pool." I said.
"Remember Nico? You wanted to go to the pool." I tried.
"Can I still play video games?" Nico asked seeming indifferent to the whole trip to the pool.
"Sure. After the pool." I sighed. So much for this being a big treat.
"OK. Pool then video games." Nico mutters to himself.
A few seconds later.
"N. I C. O. That's spelled Nico!" shouted Nico proudly putting up a finger for each letter, "And there are 1,2,3...4! letters in my name."
"My names beats your name." Mateo replied, "because it has FIVE letters."
"Well, Nico's full name is Nicolas. And that has seven letters. So looks like he wins after all." I added just to egg Mateo on.
"Oh, yeah...well my full name is Mateolas, and that has eight letters." Mateo said smuggly.
"No it's not." I laughed.
"Yes. It is Mommy. It really is. Ok?" Mateo said seeming rather pissed off.
"Whatever. Mateo." No use agruing.
"Did you know there are two kids named Alex?" Mateo said.
"Yep."
"Well, why do they have the same name?"
"Because it's a popular name. Some people have the same name. Like me and Miss Jackie (Nico's former babysitter). We are both named Jackie. And somewhere in the world there are other kids
named Mateo." I explained.
"There are other Mateos?" Nico asked in awe.
"Yes."
"Oh, well... I want to meet these other Mateos." Nico said suspiciously.
"Well, maybe someday we will." I replied.
We pulled into the pool parking lot and Nico and Mateo dashed to the doors to fight over who will push the button to open the doors. I recognized the girl who punches our pool pass as Nico's old swim teacher from Parent and Me. During this class, Nico loathed the circle time where everyone would sing songs. I would always have to ungracefuly duck out as Nico screamed at the other mommies and toddlers to "Stop singing! I hate this song!". Thankfully, his experiences in the preschool swim classes have been less eventful.
Onward to the locker room. In general, young children have no filter when it comes to commenting on the appreance of random strangers. So of course, being in a locker room with naked people is somewhat of a worrisome situation because at any moment something really inappropriate (but true) could be said. Fortunately (although not so fortunate for me) their comments today seem to all be directed at me.
"Haha...You have a fat belly." Nico shrieked as he grabbed my belly and shook it. "Why is it so fat!?!"
"Because I had 3 kids. Now put on your suit." I sighed. Out of the corner of my eye, I see two teenagers giggling. But my humiliation was not over just yet.
"Why do you have dots on your butt?" asked Mateo. Hmm...nothing like a 6 year old calling you out on your cellulite.
"Let's just get our bathing suits on, ok?" I said pulling my suit on quickly. And there you have it. My self esteem boost for the day.
I know I should start making them change themselves in the mens' locker room, but I don't even trust them to cross the street by themselves. There's no telling what they might decide to do in there. At home, they like to run around naked before their bath. They called it their "naked party." Not exactly the kind of thing that mens' locker room at the rec center needs. But I think the time is coming soon that they need to get changed in there. I don't know how much more brutally honest body critiquing I can take at this point.

Adventures at the Dog Park

For those of you that don't know, we have a dog. Her name is Honey and she is a valient soul. Unlike some couples, Max and I did not get Honey before we had kids. So she was never our "baby". She was always just "the dog". Despite never getting to be the center of all our love and attention, Honey has proven herself to be a top dog. She is great with the kids, trustworthy when left home alone, and has always done her business outside. She is also a pretty decent runner who forces me to pick up my pace on our 3 mile jogs.

From time to time, I feel a little guilty that Honey does not get more attention. The other day she was lying in a pile of dirty laundry while the kids ran around her screaming. She just laid there unfazed by the noise. Poor dog, I thought... she deserves a friend. A dog friend.

So the next day I loaded Honey and the boys into the van and we drove to the Dewey Street Animal Shelter. The people at the animal shelter suggested that we leave Honey with the receptionist while we looked at potential dogs. Then once we found one we liked, we could introduce it to Honey. Seemed fine to me, so we hooked Honey leash to the receptionists desk and off we went.

However, after looking at a few dogs, we were called back for Honey. Apparently, our perfect, docile dog was completely freaking out. When we returned to the receptionist's desk, Honey was sporting a new chain leash. In our absence, she had become so distraught that she chewed through her cloth leash. I should have taken this as a sign to leave, but we had a few dogs we thought Honey might like, so instead we walked a poor, frazzled Honey into the dog yard. Honey rejected the first two canidates, alternating nipping at them and frantically jumping on me and boys. The animal shelter staff concluded that Honey was an "alpha" dog, and that a dog friend might not be a good idea for her.

Before we left, we made one last attempt, and introduced Honey to an eight month old puppy. She seemed to take to this dog fairly well and relaxed a bit. I told the animal shelter that I would talk to Max about it and that we might be back for the puppy. When I got home, I went on the internet and showed Max the puppy's picture.

"Ugh! What kind of dog is that?" Max asked.

"I don't know, some kind of mix. What do you think?" I replied

"I think it's the ugliest dog I've ever seen. No" he said.

"But it gets along pretty good with Honey..." I tried

"I don't care. It's ugly." And so it was decided. Honey remained an only dog.

The people at the animal shelter suggested taking Honey to a dog park to socialize her a bit. As luck would have it, a new dog park just opened up right in our neighborhood. So I took Honey and the kids to check it out.

The kids immediately found a little dog that chased balls and spent the entire time playing catch with this dog and ignoring Honey. I will give Honey credit. For the most part, she was doing pretty good with the other dogs.

Then she had her run in with the Pomeranian. I knew this little dog was going to be a problem from the get go. As her owner walked her into the park, the dog started yapping at Honey. Honey's ears shot up. She raced towards the Pomeranian, and then stood directly over it. The Pomeranian's fur poofed out and it became frantic. Honey bent her head down and started nipping at it. The dog's owner swooped in and picked up the frazzled Pomeranian, and I called Honey over to me.

Honey ran past me, to the other end of the dog park, and immediately had diarrhea. Ok, time to go. That's enough fun for one day. I cleaned up Honey's mess, shouted an apology to the Pomeranian's owner, and I loaded the kids and Honey back into the van. As I drove home, I though about how my attempts to make Honey happy had backfired and brought more stress upon our poor dog.

"Hey, mom? Can we get a little dog that chases balls?" asked Mateo

"Maybe some day if we can get Honey to be nice to other dogs." I replied

"Mommy?" said Nico, "I don't think Honey wants to be nice to other dogs. I think Honey just wants to relax."

Well, that's pretty accurate...and for now, that's exactly what Honey is going to do.