Heaven

"Are you going to be an old lady someday?" Mateo asked me.

"Yeah, some day." I replied.

"When you're an old lady, will you be like 200 years old?" he giggled.

"No. No one lives that long." I said without really think about what I just implied. Too late.

"Wait a minute. Are you going to die?" he asked suddenly sounding quite alarmed.

"Well..." I hestiated. "Yes, but not for a really, really long time."

"But I don't want you to die! Wait! Am I going to get old and die too!?!"

There's no getting around this one. I guess I could lie...but

"Yes. But not for a really, really long time." I tried to sound reassuring.

Now Mateo is crying.

"I don't want to die! I don't want you to die! WAIT! What about Bubba!?! (his name for Max).

OK, I had to get this situation under control fast.

"It's ok, Mateo. When we die, we will all go to heaven and live there together forever."

"But I don't want to move to heaven! I like living in Las Vegas!"

Ok, that was funny. But Mateo is still pretty upset, so I force myself not to laugh.

"No, Mateo. When we die, our hearts go up to heaven and live there forever."

"Is there a Wii in heaven?"

Hey, gotta ask about the important stuff right?

"Yes." quickly reply. I mean, why not? Heaven is supposed to be eternal happiness and isn't that the definition of eternal happiness for a six year old boy.

Mateo considered this for a while and went back to watching TV. But a few minutes later, he was crying again.

"I'm still worried about you and Bubba dying." he said a single tear streaming down his face.

I went over to Mateo and hugged him tightly. My own father died when I was about his age. But, Mateo doesn't even know that I had a father, other than my stepdad who is his Grandpa. I haven't told him. Mostly because it is sad and because I'm not quite sure how my father fits into Mateo's life. I decided we've had enough hard truth for today. Thankfully, I could lie about being certain about this next one.

"Listen. Mommy and Bubba are not going to die for a long, long time." I finally reply.

"But I'll be all alone when you do die." he said.

"No. You'll have Nico and Daniela. And you'll probably be all grown up and have your own family." I add because hopefully it's the truth. The odds are very, very good that next week I will turn 32, an age my father never lived to see, and that I will live to annoy and embarass Mateo throughout his entire childhood and well into adulthood.

"And, remember, when we do die, that you will see us again in heaven, ok?"

"OK." Mateo said seeming satisfied.

A few minutes later, Mateo called, "Hey, Mommy, am I going to be married?"

"Maybe someday...but not for a long time." I replied with a smile.