Why suck at one sport when you can suck at 3?

A lot of people get into triathlons because they have a background in one of the 3 sports. You know, like they've run 21 full marathons already and wanted to add some triathlons for the cross training benefits. Or they were champion college swimmers and wanted to try something new. In other words, a lot of triathletes have a strong sport.

Those of you that know me know that I do not fit into this catagory. In fact, I am proud to say that I suck equally at all three sports. I'm not a natural athlete by any stretch of the imagination. But, as my Uncle Jim always said when he played a piano song no one knew the words to, "If you don't know the words, just sing louder." In other words, fake it till you make it. So I just flail my arms and legs around in the direction of the bouys, keep spinning on the bike, and keep putting one foot in front of the other on the run. And, I'm happy to say that this got me to the finish line back in May.

After the shock of actually finishing my first triathlon, I decided maybe I should try and improve. You know, like learn how to swim and learn how to my bike works. Details, details. So I signed up for a swim group and started getting more consistant with the running. I also talked my friend Glen into taking me on several torturous bike rides through Red Rock. Here is how those things went:

1. Swimming- I am officially the slowest swimmer on Earth, well at least the slowest swimmer in my group, but not by that much which is good cause I just feel slow as opposed to totally pathetic. My coach is a good guy and so are the other slow people in my lane. Last class we were suppose to swim some drills for 700 meters. I always get so exhausted that I lose count, so I just keep going till someone tells me I can stop. Anyhow, the other day, the coach said stop and I was really surprised at how fast those 700 meters went by so I said, "Hey was that really 700 meters?" He smiled at me and stage whispered, "No, you only did 600, but that's ok." Awww. Thanks coach.

That's just the kind of modification I make for the really low kids in my class. I pull them to the back table and just make them do half the math problems with my help. The whole swim class really reminds me of reading groups cause the fast swimmer are a couple lanes over doing something totally different while I learn how to do the front crawl the right way.

2. Running- So did I mention I also run really slow. But that's ok because I'm currently really happy about this area. Luckily, I've been able to convince my friend Jamie to train with me for a half marathon in December. So we have been running together 2 times a week. I've come to love this time because it is the only time I have to speak with another adult uninterrupted for an hour. Those of you that have children know that an uninterrupted conversation is virtually unheard of after one has given birth. I can't even use the bathroom without an audience these days, so running has become a good escape. In fact, I find myself wanting to run an extra mile so I can have just a few more minutes of peace.

I also joined a running group that meets once a week. And believe it or not, there is a whole group of people who run as slow as me. Who knew?

3. Biking- Even as a kid, I never much rode a bike. I don't really know the first thing about how a bike works. In fact, in the beginning if I could get on and off the bike without killing myself and maintain my balance for a few miles I called it a success. The only person I knew who knew anything about bikes was Glen, who taught 4th grade with me when I worked at Whitney.

So, I emailed him, and he took pity on me and offered to take me biking out at Red Rock. This is where the torture began. I will give Glen credit that he didn't kill me my first day and he always stayed with me no matter how painfully slow I was going. But, let's just say he defined the meaning of climbing hills for me. For those of you that live in the Las Vegas area, you may be familiar with the Red Rock Scenic loop. The first 5 miles are a non-stop uphill climb, like a slow march towards death. I can't manage to make myself go more than 5 mph at some points. Hell, I could WALK faster than I'm able to bike on that hill. And I thought people seeing me in labor was embarassing. During this lovely bike ride, I start breathing like some kind of farm animal. I get so congested I have no choice but to blow snot rockets like a teenage boy. And when I really push myself, the other cyclists on the loop have the pleasure of seeing me stumble off my bike as I try not to puke down the front of my jersey. Of course, Glen finds this all highly amusing as he asks me if I'm ok in a voice that does not sound the least bit out of breath. Whatever, shut up.

But just like my running time with Jamie, the bike rides with Glen have been a nice break from the kids. And I like to see what I'm really capable of doing and how far I can go. And just like Jamie and I are planning to do the half marathon, Glen has talked me into doing a 110 mile bike ride in October. So it gives me yet another reason why I need to make myself go a little further each time.

After all this training (yes, I no longer workout, as a triathlete I now "train" just to be extra obnoxious) I hoped to do a bit better on my second triathlon, but was not expecting any miracles. So I was definately pleasantly surprised to say the least with what happened in California this weekend.

To Be Continued...